What to Expect…

You know that question you should never ask a woman unless you are completely sure?

You know? THAT question?

Well, this woman was asked that question yesterday.

I don’t know what to think about it, but here’s what happened:

I was at church. The hubby and I were sitting on a couch in the lobby, waiting for the teens to show up. An older gentleman that we see every week sat down and started chatting with us.

I mentioned that I was feeling tired (I had worked on Saturday night and didn’t sleep well).

His response?

“Oh, you’re tired? (He grinned) Are you going to be giving us some news?”

I didn’t get it, “What? What kind of news?”

“Oh,” he said, “well, my wife and I have been talking and she was saying she thought you’d be telling people that you were expecting soon.”

My response?

“Um… well, not that I’m aware of.” (Insert my jaw hitting the floor)

“Well, I thought you were saying you were tired because you were dropping a hint,” he said.  “You know, you don’t want to say anything too soon…so I thought you were trying to give me a hint.”

Nervously laughing, I replied, “Well… If I was expecting, I think it would be a pretty big surprise to Ben and me… I’m just tired because I worked late last night.”

*Awkward Silence*

“Oh.” He paused for a moment, unsure what to say, “Well, when the time comes, at least you’ve been blessed with a great husband. That’s a huge thing.”

Source

Source

Nice save with the husband comment. Totally true. And I can imagine he was as mortified as I was for that mistake.

But I have to ask….

1. Why do people expect couples to start having babies right away?

Ben and I have been getting “so, when are you going to start a family?” for a long time (funny enough, this question comes from everyone but our families). Why do we have to rush? We haven’t even been married two years!

Honestly, it wouldn’t even be on our radar, except we’re asked this question all the time!

To put it simply, we aren’t ready. The fact that I even have to explain that is frustrating.

2. Does this mean I look like I am starting to show? Or is it ….something else?!

A few friends assured me it was the latter, but I’d be lying if I said that this didn’t bother me some. I’m going to chock it up to the age of the parties involved.

Let’s chat, have you ever gotten THAT question (or worse, made that mistake?!)? What did you do? What are your thoughts on marriage and babies?

PS. Second funny story: the same day, another man (who we see weekly at church) asked if I was the wife of Ben’s best friend…while Ben was standing two feet away…Really?!

 

 

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9 Comments on “What to Expect…”

  1. Amy says:

    I got asked that question 2 months after I has already HAD my kid and was HOLDING her. I was like alright, moron, do you think before you talk? She was like oh, when are you due? I was like well, i just had one 2 months ago, so if another one is still in there I’m seriously over due. She was apologetic, but I felt worse for her because she was an idiot.

  2. rachelocal says:

    Eek! I NEVER ask that question. Always a bad idea. I think especially in the church setting people just assume you are going to procreate right away (my dad’s a pastor so I know first hand). But like you, I’m smart about it. Kids are a BIG DEAL. Waiting is better, no matter what anyone thinks.

  3. I think a lot of people use it as an ice breakers or to avoid awkward silence even though it can be a major cause of awkward silence.

    Take your time. I always tell people babies are not all they’re cracked up to be. Sure they are cute as babies but then they turn into teenagers. Lol

  4. zeelemons says:

    I have never been asked that question and will NEVER ask that question of another woman.
    and to answer your other question, I don’t know WHY people ask about our personal lives (getting married, having babies). WHO makes this mysterious timeline and WHY must they ask those questions in front of significant others… “so, are you two getting married?” (looks at beau and doesn’t know how to answer without offending him or putting off the ask-er) “oh, right this moment, no. no plans to get married today? have a couple thousand dollars we can have to pay off our school debt first?” I always try to make it super awkward for the person asking… and now that I’m done rambling, I’m sorry this happened to because girl, you are looking fab these days!

  5. I was pretty shocked… and I am awkward enough in general, so I am sure he felt REALLY Awkward… but I agree, it’s insane to put so much pressure on “young people” to get married, buy a house (that’s another irritating question!) and start popping out babies… It’s like, “yeah, that’s brilliant idea when we both have student loans to pay off!” But anyway….. haha!

    And thank you! 🙂

  6. […] how someone asked me that question about a month ago? You know, THAT […]


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