That sounds so…. official.
Today is my last day as a 24-year-old.
Tomorrow I turn a quarter century old.
Can you say “major freak-out?”
I know that age is just a number, but I have this vision in my head of what 25 is supposed to look like… and it’s a lot more put together than my 24 and 364 days old self.
I feel like I am supposed to know what I want to be when I grow up…and should be doing that already! I also feel that I should know how to tame my cowlick, not spill things all over myself and know exactly what direction my life is heading in. But I don’t. And frankly, all of those things freak me out, just a little. Okay, maybe a lot, depending on the day.
Everything happens for a reason…I know that. If I had followed a strict plan, I certainly would not be anywhere close to where I am today. I may be making more money, or living in a city somewhere, I may have a more expensive wardrobe to spill things all over…but I’d be miserable. And stressed out. And did I mention miserable?
I have to admit, that although I’m uncertain where I’m headed at this point in time, I am ridiculously happy. I have a wonderful husband and great family and friends. I laugh every day and I’m healthy.
So, today I am going to take a deep (calming) breath and just relish the unknown. I’ll take comfort in the fact that, although I won’t ever be that well-put-together-25-year-old-who-knows-exactly-what’s-going-on-and-where-things-are-headed, that I’m still pretty okay. I’m a lot more interesting than that perfectly put together image. And the last (almost) 25 years have been very good to me. I’ll continue to count my blessings.
Here’s to 24 and 364 days old. And cowlicks.
Do you have a big birthday coming up? Do certain years freak you out more than others?
I’ve had this feeling gnawing at me and haven’t been able to put my finger on what it is. Or how to make it go away.
Allow me to explain.
Every few months something happens. I become filled with dread, frustration and anxiety as I slowly realize that I have taken on too much and live in fear of letting someone down or failing at one of my commitments…
Because I am incredibly stubborn, I’ll let this go on for a few days, weeks, or in this case-over a month…and then comes the hard part–figuring out what needs to be done and what needs to be cut out…and cleaning up the mess that life becomes when you ignore things for too long.
This morning, I reached that point. It took the form of a bag of peaches.
Farmer Ben and I picked up some gorgeous peaches at the farmers’ market this weekend. I’ve been wanting to further my canning experience and decided to make jalapeno peach jam. I was so excited and could not wait to make it.
But then life and my schedule got in the way and three days have passed without a sign of delicious jam-making in sight.
This morning, I did the snooze button tango and decided to grab a peach for breakfast on the go. I opened the bag and the first peach I grabbed was soft….really soft. And brown. I threw it in our compost bucket and tried again. I found a few other peaches were also starting to go but found one that was still good.
I glanced at Ben with a defeated look on my face and he simply said, “we’ve gotta use those up.”
If you know me, you know that I absolutely hate wasting food. It pains me to throw food away. Especially if I haven’t even gotten to try it yet.
So today, it hit me.
There is a peach sitting on my desk, reminding me that I need to take some time and clean up the messes. That I need to let go of something and tackle everything else that is on my plate.
So after trying to go it alone, I am leaving it in God’s hands…lifting everything up to Him and asking for help…
I woke up this morning after what seemed like a moment of sleep and was dizzy from all that transpired this weekend. I hit the snooze button, but was still tired the next time around. Yet, here I am. Another Monday at work has ended and the day has escaped a little too quickly for my liking.
Sunday was a very weird day for me. I got a bit emotional and felt the need to do some serious self-reflection.
It started yesterday morning at church. The sermon was on motherhood, but it also discussed how anyone can be a better example, a light in the dark, if you will. It was titled, “Leaving a Legacy.”
My pastors talked about examples from their own lives and discussed words that came to mind when someone thought of their mother, but one phrase really struck a chord with me.
“A sincere faith causes a ripple effect.”
Regardless of your religion, or lack thereof, this is heavy. Everything you do has an effect on someone, even if you don’t realize it.
This got me thinking. What kind of impact am I making? What kind of people do I affect on a daily basis without even realizing it? What sort of ripples am I sending?
I know that I cannot personally change the world. But I can work hard every day to be a better person. And to help people, whether it be a smile to a stranger, a word of encouragement or helping someone with a project…the possibilities are endless. And if I’m not the only one doing this?
Imagine the impact.
I just… I want to show people that there is still good in the world. Even if I don’t realize it at the time.
So…I’ll write it one more time. As a reminder.
A sincere faith causes a ripple effect.