A Note from Noelle: I am trying something a little different today, and depending on your feedback it may become a permanent Monday fixture; I’ve been wanting to do a bit of free-writing/journal-ing and figured that there’s no time like the present. Per usual, I’d love your feedback. Thanks! -N
Now onto your regularly scheduled blog post!
It’s funny how something can you bring you back to an exact moment in time. It doesn’t have to be big. It can be the smell of a stranger. Or the chorus of your favorite song, drifting out of an open window. Or even just putting on an old t-shirt… Biting into a sandwich.. Driving down an old dirt road. Rainstorms. A glass of red wine or a phone call from a friend.
And upon that one small thing crossing your path, while remaining in the present moment, you are transported back to a different place and time. And feeling exactly how you felt. The same thoughts are running through your head, the same sounds gracing your ears and there you are, face to face with a former self. It doesn’t matter who you are in the present, because for that one moment, you are taken back to where and who you were. Living in the past, just for moment. It’s time travel in its truest form.
Most recently for me, this “something” was an invitation. In that particular (present?) moment I was a strong, put together 24-year-old woman, looking forward to an evening spent with my wonderful husband…until, an unexpected invitation arrived.
And there I was, a 20-year-old, living in a new place, standing next to a monument in complete shock and awe as I watched a ring being placed on my finger…onto a know-it-all fourteen-year-old with a serious case of puppy love, and then-just like that!- I’m sixteen.
As quickly as I’ve been taken to these places, I’ve left them (and been to a few places in between). Then, I am twenty-one, crying hysterically after sliding the ring off my finger and knowing I’ll never wear it again, wondering what I could have done to prevent this.
A moment later, six months have passed and I am timidly looking across a table at an old acquaintance. After that I am fifteen, standing in a friend’s living room meeting a goofy boy for the first time. Seconds later, I am twenty-three, standing in that same goofy boy’s kitchen as he asks me to marry him, another second passes and I am having a difficult conversation with someone that I used to know. Then, with a flash, I am saying my marriage vows on a hot summer’s day.
And then, as quickly as it came, it’s gone. I am back in the present, staring down at an invitation. My head is spinning, lost in a sea of memories and I smile to myself, realizing how each one of these moments has shaped who and where I am in this exact moment.
I used to hate being flooded with memories and dragged through years of forgotten (and remembered) moments in time, but now I think it’s God’s way of keeping me from getting too comfortable. It’s his way of reminding me of where I’ve been, while showing me where I’ll end up next.
As I was lying in bed last night thinking about all I have to do today, I knew that getting up at 5:45 in the morning was not going to be easy. I’ve been a stressed out lately and I tend to worry more than I should, so sleep has eluded me. I am pretty slammed at work right so I decided to go in early. On top of that, I have to work at my part-time job this evening, so it’s going to be a long day. Needless to say, I was not looking forward to hearing my alarm clock.
But a funny thing happened this morning. I actually woke up at 5:30…feeling somewhat refreshed. I stared at the ceiling waiting for my alarm to go off…and then hit the snooze button because, well, it’s what I do. Ben was not feeling as awake as I was, so he wasn’t too happy about the snooze…I decided to spare him and got myself out of bed.
Although I was more awake than usual, I wasn’t looking forward to stepping outside. Last night the temperature had dropped below zero (this may not seem odd for northern NY, but it’s the coldest night we have had this winter) and it was a brisk 7 degrees this morning. I bundled up and hurried out of my apartment to start my car.
I stopped at the bottom of my steps. The view before me stunned me-I momentarily forgot how cold it was outside. The sky was painted with hues of deep royal purple and shades of orange and pink. The clouds were feathered and delicately scattered across the sky, accented with colors I haven’t seen in a long time. Although it wasn’t as bright out as normal, I could see the lake in the distance and the mountains were tinted a deep purplish-blue. It was absolutely breathtaking.
Ben and I live a bit off the beaten path, so we are surrounded by fields. On a clear day, you can see the lake and the mountains are always in the distance. The view is actually one of the things I love most about it. We also get a lot of natural light, giving our home a wonderful warmth. However, with the short winter days, and having to travel to and from work when it’s dark out, I had forgotten about this. This morning’s sunrise was a quick reminder. It was one of the most beautiful I have ever seen.
Once I started to feel the cold again, I quickly started my car, ran back upstairs and finished getting ready. Even though I knew that it was going to be a long day, I felt better. Energized even. I think it was God’s way of telling me that he is paying attention, taking care of things, not to worry. I am kicking myself for not taking a picture.
As I was driving in, coffee in hand, I was still mesmerized by the gorgeous sunrise. I also heard one of my favorite songs on the radio. I don’t hear it very often, but it’s one that always lifts my spirits, even if it is a little corny. It’s also got some beautiful harmonies. It’s called I Won’t Let Go, by Rascal Flatts. Here are some of the lyrics.
“Cause I will stand by you
I will help you through
When you’ve done all you can do
And you can’t cope
And I will dry your eyes
I will fight your fight
I will hold you tight
And I wont let go”
Like I said, it’s a bit corny. But today I am taking it as another sign not to worry… just to remember that God is with me and that I have been truly blessed with some wonderful opportunities and people in my life.
It’s amazing to me how little things like a sunrise or hearing a certain song on the radio can completely change your mood or turn your day around. Is it just me? Have you had a moment like this lately?
Have a great day everyone! Keep those chins up!